a new end

So, classes are over, and although everyone is still on their toes and fussing over schoolwork, I am finding myself with nothing to do, except to wait for my grades and my tooth extraction scheduled on Wednesday.

I am taking antibiotics for 6 days now because of the huge infection on my chin due to the tooth that had a cavity. It stated swelling last Monday, but I only went to the dentist (alone) on Wednesday. The dentist prescribed the antibiotic because I can't have the extraction with the infection (as Dale put it, there could be pus squirting out from the place where my tooth was if I had the extraction prior to treating my infection). I can't eat food that needed to be chewed until Saturday, so I think I got an ulcer because my stomach and/or esophagus hurt a bit with every swallow yesterday. But I'm just paranoid.

The good news, so far, is that I got a 1.00 (that's a 4.00 for ye Ateneo/US/etc. people) in IE3. I know that IE3 will not affect my bid for Cum Laude (I took IE3 for extra knowledge) but I am extremely happy for my third 1.00 in college. I am hoping for more high grades for this sem. Yay!

We had our induction of officers last Thursday, where in I had to give up my lordship over PRC. It was a nice program because I was the emcee (despite the large lump on my chin...ugh! the photo-ops I had to refuse!). It was nice, and completely tear-free for me, if you do not count the time when I nearly cried because I can eat only the cake without pain. The pasta was very, very painful, but I had to eat something.

I hope I really get the Petron summer OJT because I wanted some industry experience before I graduate. You know, to find out how a big a dufus I am for studying all the theoretical/impractical stuff. Or maybe, those book problems are really real-life problems. I have to find out... Honestly, I am not for the salary whatsoever because for one, I think that at this point I do not deserve the salary I an going to receive because I do not have a degree. Also, I am having the summer internship first and foremost for the learning experience, the cash inflows will just serve as incentive.

I watched a bit of Oprah yesterday, and she was interviewing Anderson Cooper, of CNN. I really do not know this guy because I do not watch CNN for more than 30 seconds. I only know him a bit because Saturday Night Live spoofed his CNN show. So, Oprah was discussing basically his life, because she read his autobiography. Anderson is a news anchor who started doing films in areas where American journalists do not go. He went to Myanmar, Rwanda and Sarajevo as a young journalist. So, one thing he said in his book, that Oprah reiterated in the show is that hope is not a plan. "Hope is not a plan." That really struck me because I am a person that hopes so much. I rely my daily actions on hopes. But hope is not a plan. I hoped that I can become the best leader that I can be, but I did not have a plan. Actually, I have plans, small ones, but no grand plans. I just hoped. On the other hand, I hoped to become an honor student (just now), and I planned to take my studying a level higher. But planning is not what's important, as I have learned (by my own, thank you). Therefore, hope is not enough, a plan is not enough. But these are two important things because they are stepping stones to motivating one's self. "Hope is not a plan," but I must first hope, then plan, then move.

Been kind of lonely (of a happy-sad kind) like when a parent lets his college-aged son/daughter free. I will certainly miss all the bossing around, joking about abusing my people-given powers and fussing about noise and cleanliness in the tambayan. And probably making so much stuff with Photoshop. And all the joy it brought to my heart. I loved being the PRC boss. I loved being with PRC and I am seeking forgiveness for the time I thought of leaving. As I've said, once you go PRC, you'll never look back. So, guys, let's kick ass this year, eh?

some updates

135 papers done: 2.667
135 papers passed: 2
difference: 0.667 postponing deadline=procrastination

toothaches:1 i mean 1 tooth is aching
lymph nodes (i think): 1
visits to dentist: 0 will wait for parental accompaniment because i am such a baby

leadership positions as of today: 2
on tuesday, next week: 0
hopefully, next month: 1

ojts as of today: 0
hopefully, next month: 1. or not.

people i hate: 4
people i love: many to mention. awww.
people i hate in the near future: 0. gradually.

sure-pass subjects as of now: 4
exams tomorrow: 2

wrong

Of course, almost everything is empirical. What we have thought today to be obviously right may turn out to be wrong, maybe not in the near future, but eventually, if it's meant to be. Imagine the time when everyone believed that the sun and other planets revolved around the earth, or that flies came from raw meat. Those were popular theories at that time, which is proven to be wrong today.

I've been thinking (in between doing schoolwork) about some things in my life that may have been wrong. Some of the things I assumed to be right to make big decisions are devastatingly wrong. And now, I am suffering the fruits of bad judgement. But, there is always room for improvement, unless you jumped into a bottomless pit. That should suck.

We can also be wrong about people. No one is ever always correct about a person. We are entitled to have mistakes in judging people. Of course, we should not judge a person fully, but one needs something so that (s)he can interact with that person. First impressions, however long they last, are oftentimes wrong: kulang, sobra or iba talaga. What is important is that you try to see the real person in them. Because, sabi nga sa showbiz (a favorite in many interviews), "Gusto kong makita ng tao ang totoong ako. Tao rin naman ako. Hindi ako iba.", or to that effect. Everyone wants everyone to see them as they really are. No one wants to have an image that is not really them, lalo na kung masama. But then, tao ang pinakamahirap basahin. Foust madali pa, pero tao...

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Really, really fun stuff off the internet: Engrish.com. Loads of pictures of ridiculously wrong English. And no, I don't mean prepositions or those horrendously wrong for the grammar nazi. The pictures here have wrong English because they have translated words to English very literally. /*Actually got link from Pat*/

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I am really sorry for all my bad decisions, because, for one, I am suffering because of them. I should develop my own decision making system. But for the record, hindi ko kailanman kayo ginawang pahingahan. If I'm there it's always work. Mali ko lang, I bit off more than I could chew. And if you think you can do better, then do it. I don't care. The bottomless pit needs more people cascading on its never-ending duct. Maybe you should try it.

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I just want to say that I am sorry if all I ever do is rant in this blog. It seems that I hate someone everytime. That really sucks for me because there is really a lot of energy and stress invloved in such emotions. I can not not hate a person if he/she deserves it. Sorry, I'm not a citizen of the Gumdrop Fluffy Things World. But I can try. And I do.

update on biorhythms

Biorhythms are cr*p. I will fail on that exam I just took. :(

Well, who ever said they were reliable. Nothing is.

hit by a truck

in the face.

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Here's what I was doing lately:

1. Thought about doing things such as reading Van Ness while lying down in a ball pool (Yup, the one in McDonalds and/or Jollibee. Minus the kids.).
2. Worked too much on 135 paper (done: 1, not done: 2), even when I'm not typing, I'm thinking Carman-Kozeny, Burke-Plummer, Ergun. Of course, who can relate to this problem?
3. Realized all effort was not enough. Starts thinking of plans to improve things. Wakes up to the smell of Your-Term-Is-Through-So-Stop.
4. Panics at thought of TGIF (March 16): 135 papers, 140 panel work, 123 Gamma-Phi work, IE3 Problem Set DEADLINE.
5. SME Elections. Been nominated for same position. Embrassed. Declined.
6. Enjoyed Ham2 with applicants and members. (see, there is hope!)
7. Jumped for joy as Mils won the presidency. Could have made the best Patronus ever.
8. Lost sleep because of roaches at home.
9. Supervised planning of PRC/Socio party.
10. Ate a lot because of sapin-sapin na depresyon.
11. Thought about Induction speech.

in recovery.

sinusoid

Just when you thought you've reached the top, you slide down.

I'm blaming it to the freakin' sine curves that rule a large number of things in our lives. Yup, biorhythms. Of course, it would be foolish to cling to a mathematical model for your life, but then again, insurance [I have a math major friend and they insurance is their highest form of employment, aside from being a mighty Archimedes or Pythagoras or similar.].

According to the theory of biorhythms, our lives depend on some 3 sine curves that go up and down in regular periods of time. The 3 curves represent our physical, emotional and intellectual states. Although there is not much evidence (that I heard) for this theory, its popularity and coincidence with real life makes it "valid".

Funny how I reacted to this subject. Before I started to write this post, I had a different emotion and a different idea in mind. Then, I thought of the possibilities of using my biorhythms to score better in my exams. On Mar. 13 will be our 123 exam. According to my biorhythm, I will have high intellectual capability on that day (yipee!). Let's just hope this thing is really accurate.

So going back to that emotion. Or not. Story time!

So there's this worm who wanted to get some fresh air. He lived about a mile underneath the surface so he started to dig up. Unluckily for him, it was not the most friendly parcel of land to live in. The soil is dry and hard. When he finally hits the surface, a huge bulldozer dumps some soil on him. Let's say the soil builds up another 0.1 mile on top of this worm. He should give up now, but this worm is really persevering. He digs through that pile of soil again. Then the same thing happened. Dump after dump covered him and he was soon under a mile of soil again. But he continued to dig up. He just thought of the fresh air he wanted to breathe. After another long day of digging he finally, finally got to the surface. Only to receive another mile-thick dump. He was tired and fed up so he just stayed and soon after he died and was, after a little while, part of the soil.

No more soil for me. I'm tired. Please get off me.

first weekend of March

listening to: my brain. (it's working!)

Really enjoyed the weekend. Watched Dreamgirls, Fantastic 4 and The 40 Year Old Virgin plus Till I Met You (because lola watched it) and Little Mermaid 2 (because claire and dot watched it). Dreamgirls was great and Jennifer Hudson really deserved her first acting award in her first movie. It was also refreshing to watch a musical movie that has really great songs and the actors do not fail to perform them well--and with a serious, "grown up" theme. Of course, Steve Carell was superb in his portrayal of an old man wanting to get laid. Although there was a part in the movie where there is butt exposure by Paul Rudd (the man who marries Phoebe in Friends), the rest of the movie was all clean fun, in a sex-themed kind of way. What is a Steve Carell movie without a great script? Remember Anchorman (with Will Ferrel and Christina Applegate)? That was hilarious too. And who would not know his sitcom, The Office, for which he won a Golden Globe last year, and was again nominated this year? As for the others, they were really...regular films, although the quality of Till I Met You (technical) was really good, for a Filipino film.

Been somewhat sedated by the events that followed the event that um, yeah. Went to Pulilan last Saturday for Andrew's (my nephew) birthday party. Although it was a swimming party, I focused more on the party side. And for me, party means only one thing--food. I am not really planning to get fat. But. I think you could guess how much I ate.

So, got an 80 and 85 in 197 this week for the two exams. Not really bad, I guess. My expectations are higher but its all that I can do for now. Have loads on my mind right now, with the elections and stuff. Of course, they shouldn't have to interfere with my academics but I'm putting more effort on the subjects that I really need to have good grades at. For instance, I have to do 3 135 papers now, because if I keep postponing doing them, then who knows if I stay sane come the 16th. I also need to study for my upcoming 123 exam, which promises to be difficult, yet gentle as to not kill the students so they can live a long life pondering on their mistakes. But I am neither mad nor expressing a very strong emotion. It just sucks the fun out of life.

Been avoiding to get into situations where I might suddenly blurt out something that's for the history books. I actually have spent some time converting four-letter cuss words to highly colorful phrases which would intensify the emotion embedded in the word. But it's all wordplay, in my mind. Nothing's ever coming out, unless it's absolutely necessary and/or I'm going to be paid for it (eg. it will be part of a film's script).

Been wanting to catch up with Heroes. Just finished ep. 11. Lou has ep. 12 to 16, but has uploaded only ep. 15 and 16 on his multiply account. I do not want to watch either of them until I watch the preceding episodes. Have been catching up on Grey's Anatomy every weekend. I'm still on Season 2, but am hearing Season 3 and beyond news. (although I have watched Season 3 up to ep. 8) Meredith's going to die, and later on the series would have a spin off and Meredith would be replaced by Addison as the lead character. Would it be called Montgomery's Anatomy? Because Grey's Anatomy would be so wrong if they're going to remove Meredith Grey from the series. Also, just recently, the actor who plays Izzie would also leave the series. Ugh. The series, which has been very successful, is now falling apart. Why won't somebody like Dr. Burke die, or leave or, um, I mean he's a better, more intelligent choice (as who should be removed) than Meredith or Izzie. Anyway, I just have to wait patiently.

Now I'm going back to my real, academic life. Another week of no TV (except maybe for American Idol), and Mr. Foust and Geankoplis (because I have to read his book to understand things for my paper), and maybe Mr. Van Ness, but we'll see.
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Happy Birthday Shie, and Andrew.