facelift

oh. not really.

i tried to give my blog a facelift today, but obviously i failed. i have to search for that perfect blog skin. or try to make one when im ready. i have to read gert's (genius!) html tutorial module.

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listening to: electric fan drying my footwear

FINALLY watched music and lyrics yesterday. i remember myself looking at the music and lyrics billboard in SLEX a month ago. i told myself that i would watch that movie (sa sinehan) and i did! twas nice, warm and fuzzy like all formula romantic comedies. learned that i have been an academic lyricist (read: i write songs about academic stuff) for so long as i knew what a rhyme meant. you could ask my HS english TEAcher (caps intended, read it that way) and he remembers me as the one-time "poet of the year". [cue:evil laugh, thunder] it was a dark year for munsci. if you think my lyric-writing skills are bullcrap, ill give a sample later. haha.

then, the would-be most heartbreaking meeting of the millenium. like the day a hundred plus people went down the abyss with the "unsinkable" ship. (while the kate winslet character, being female, and rich, survived.) obviously, im not, in any way, happy about it.

just had the [no comment] polymers 3rd exam. i did not have a calculator. i am amazed at my superior arithmetic skills. hurrah. i hope i ace this one.

i am generally happy today. good. better. hoping for the best. i love my friends. i mean, the friends who love me. (yes, i am excluding you.)
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happy bday to Eds, feb 19; VA, feb 21.
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Ceres' word of the day: none. [but you wanted a word right? i did too.]
Gideon's word of the day: FLASHPOINT-n. (1) temperature and pressure where a mixture of liquids flash (ie. vaporize) (2) a very vague audio-visual presentation. (3) the point in your life where there is no way but naked, at for the important body parts. v. moving the index finger such that the long axis of your index finger is perpendicular to a point in someone/thing else's body(not necessarily touching) very fast.

good times. good times.

principled

listening to: HomeBoy then Game KNB?

so, had a little to drink last night, didn't want to get very drunk because i think that i should not be very drunk in any point in my life. except maybe when i fail the board exams or similar.

as you might have known from the story of my life (i.e. this blog; oh how much it sucks.), i am the one who nods randomly to anything. i follow. i agree to almost any justifiable thing, even though the justifications may not be valid. i am easy to sway. i can be persuaded easily. [some examples: riding anchor's away and j. log jam last summer; removed gary/basty loveteam from mr/ms race for a while]

im done. i hate being in the middle of things. i have to take a side now. permanently. another thing i learned from this job. having my own, solid, permanent principles may actually make me happier.
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i am currently hating someone. and i hate this person for giving me a hard time. s/he has his/her priorities wrong. s/he should not be pissed for a very MINOR thing. s/he should realize that there is more to -bleep- than -bleep- the same -bleep-. and it was my first -bleep-. if you have minded your own -bleep- then, we would all be happy. and i really did not have time to -bleep- because i had something much much more important to do. law-defined duties are more important. and -bleep- is not a duty. vanity lang yan. alam mo yun. kaya wag mo akong aartehan. hindi mo pa ako nakikitang mag-ma-ora. my terrified siblings could tell you how i raise hell.

but luckily, i have enough patience. but do i? am i always threatening people with this rage sh*t? sorry. i should stop threatening and start demonstrating. hahaha.
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Ceres' word of the day: forange- (1) n. an orange from alien territory (2) v. checking wild plants for an orange (3) adj. looks odd because of the tacky color (w/c is orange)

i just have to say it: Pat is afraid of Heather Graham, as of 3 am, Feb 21.

to you.

put a sock on it.

valentines week

of course, the other third of the population is single. actually had an eventful week. came back to up last sunday (and still here) to do the eoea video. loads of fun, although we did not get to sleep. then, miting de avance later. aaa. headache. election. eoea (we did not win despite the oscar-winning acting).

then the report (cue: suspense thriller music).

me: Good morning. Happy Valentines. We are celebrating our love for the Chemical Process Industries. Hence, the Ceramics Industry!
classmates:

me: there are different kinds of jiggering machine. the machine for the cup is different from that of the plate, because the cup is more...malukong.
(classmates laugh)

me: ...the most commonly used wetting agent is water, because it is cheap, and abundant and therefore, cheap.
(classmates laugh)

all of it was fun until our teacher asked me to research something about microwavable ceramics. i did research on that but failed miserably. bah.

had fun in the up fair, although most of it was spent in our california maki, bbq and popcorn booth. met ate Gennie and family members. really good music, and nice atmosphere. kaso inantok na ako.

did 123 homework the rest of the week. had a few problems here and there. (damn Wilson and van Laar!) mr and ms as stagnant as possible.
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thanks janine for the flower. i kept it.
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we should always do what we feel is right. i mean, i should have done what is right, fair and just to everyone. even if it means losing a leg. it's not over yet.

happiness?

where is the source of happiness? where can we obtain true happiness? is there some place where we can buy happiness for 3o pesos? do we obtain it from our loved ones? does doing something great make us happy? is happiness permanent? is happiness really good for us? why are we always searching for happiness? why is happiness such a complex concept? does love make us happy? do friends make us happy? of course they do.
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i surprised myself today as i realized that i have been wanting to work on this special day of mine. i mean, working on that video, which we are not yet sure if it is really required from us. great. just what i need. more work. i love working. working sedates me. but i get tired too. everyone does. so we sleep. but does sleep makes us happy? i know one person who's happy because of sleeping... (di ba, Boi, Lucky? hehe.)

thank you for making my day special: ceres, shie, inay gayle, ails, fra, mina, yeye and lovely (my texters). special thanks to EC (cake!!!), especially gary (who made everyone we meet greet me), and janine (for being there). thanks to mike and haidee for being such good teammates in our bid for the ChErebral prize. Fifth place is not bad. Plus, we have a sweeter prize. :D thanks to sharra, mils and my 135 groupmates, may, mau and joey (although they didn't know). thank you mama. thank you kuya for the GREAT gift (however lame it would seem, it's really a great gift). another thank you to ceres, pat and janine for the gifts. thank you to all the people who remembered, or just knew but greeted me.
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happiness? it's so commercialized, we can buy it. so let's just, altogether, shove it up our ___.

a neutral birthday to me.

not a year older

with only hours before i finally turn into a full adult (chronologically and therefore physically), i sit here again in a computer shop desperately trying to empty myself of hate or love or any strong, stirring emotion i have. aside from the fact that i grow old a year tomorrow, there's really nothing very special. as of now.

i have mastered a couple of things as i grow up. i learned to ride a bike. i learned to use a computer for 4965 different jobs. i could make my younger sibs follow my commands (whapak!) [of course who cuddled them when they cried when they were little?]. i can make a meal for my own consumption [keywords: fat, trans fat, carbs]. i can actually be a chemical engineer someday. and sadly, i have mastered the art of hurting people.

lots of times i've been confronted. they call me tactless and hurtful. of course i should have learned to be a better person. but did i?

i get too harsh at times. but that's who i am. i know my limits. i try not to hurt people. i always give way (not really, but most of the time). people who really, really know me should know that i am the one who sacrifices. i am patient. i control myself. i defer anger until it dissipates. most of the time.

it pains me to think that i have not been a good friend. not just recently, but i have not been a good friend ever.

i should suffer the consequences. and i will.

damn it.

poked upon

i am finally a month away from being just a somebody, not a somebody else anymore. and so, mixed feelings. so mushy. but we are all entitled to an amount of mushiness once we reach our teens. then again when we become parents. but that's not for a very long time.

it feels so sad to be a different person again. like a soldier finally retiring after 10 years in war. he misses the action. the adventures. the uncertainties of his occupation. he is scared to return to his oh-so-safe life in the farm. with the chickens and the cows and the big red barn. it feels so slow to be just on the ground. he misses being on the plane, seeing everything not covered by the clouds. heck, he can touch the clouds. he adores the clouds.

but he needs to step aside as he is worn out. no soldier can fight for a lifetime (unless he gets killed in battle, and thus he fought till he died.). even birds have a pit stop every hundred miles or so. then they soar again.