staring outside

i WAS to write about an eventful weekend. but the crs results, plus the disturbing email made me stare outside.

but then

i did not get more units form the crs. i asked for an es 1 and es 26 class, plus nat sci 2, to complete my 20 units this sem. but no!!! they didn't give it!!! which means i have to spend 3 damn days lining up, waiting and praying to get a slot...which is nearly impossible, with those subjects.

lets not talk about the disturbing email.

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it was a very interesting weekend. (including thursday and friday)

finally, on thursday, i got out, and went to UP. i was supposed to ONLY get sample exams for the depsem. but i also checked out our grades in ES. I got a 1.75 in es 21!! happy!! it was because of my shocking (!) performance on our finals (94pointsomething!!) that pulled my grade up. also, i got 2.25 in es 11, which was okay. the finals pulled it down this time. :)

friday, i spent almost all day at home, watching TV, eating and wasting precious time doing nothing. we went to saisaki to celebrate uncle vitus' birthday (his treat). then we brought him home to quezon city while claire, dot and gelo (my sibs) went to watch Madagascar with my aunts and other uncle (one of them reportedly slept through out the movie which cost them 120 php each!). i wanted to watch the movie, but my parents dragged me to go with them on that very sleepy trip.

saturday, i went to UP again for a meeting (ahehe..orientation pala) of the logscipt newbies. it was great fun, actually, and the outgoing EIC gave pat and me, the only writers in that meeting our 'screening' articles (if we do it, we're in!). it was exciting at first, but when i received my assignment (which was to write about the person who was killed in beta way) i felt like i have never been so wrong in my life. why?? well, i thought i would definitely back out.. but let's see.. (no!! im meant to be great! so no backing out!! okay??) (ugh!)

after that orientation, i went to ateneo so that i can save money by going home with my parents. i didn't actually know where to go, i just knew that my parents were in a place called ISO or something. so, i went inside ateneo, and walked. and walked and walked. i didn't dare asked because someone might mistake me for an ateneo freshie, which i don't like to happen. i walked further, and got to far---as far as high school, which i remeber ails saying was the farthest you can go. incidentally, the place (ISO) was the last building i checked out. (damn!) so, i reached my parents, and stayed there, not talking for at least 4 hours. eating was the best part of it. at 8 pm, i reached home...tired.

i would like to congratulate doodz for passing chem 28.1!!! and es 11.. which you will pass, when the !@#$%^& finds his mistake.

reconditioned conditional friends

totoo namang conditional ang friendship ng mga tao, kahit gaano pa kayo ka "close", kahit papaano ay may conditions pa rin ang friendship.

hindi naman sa negative ang view ko about men(and women, and everyone in between), pero as i said, realist ako. hindi naman negative, siguro, emotional lang kaya mukhang negative.

on the lighter side, may certain degrees naman yung pagiging conditional. depende na lang siguro sa tao kung hanggang saan nya maeendure ang pagiging conditional nya sa isag tao. merong mga taong hindi masyadong needy sa masyadong intimate na friendship (hmmm..may kilala akong ganito, AS IN) na kebs lang kahit sobrang bloodsucking na lang ang nangyayari between friends. pero may mga tao ding 'can't-live-without-you' friend na madalas pa ay jealous kapag may iba yung friend nya (hayy...wala naman siguro akong kilalang ganito). pero although may negative feedback na ang past post ko, ay i stand by my idea na lahat ng friends nga ay conditional. although di halata kasi nagcacancel naman di ba?

pero, kung totoo man ito o hindi, di ko yun alam. at hindi ko naman nirerecommend na itodo ang pagiging conditional friend, kung pwede ay, i-unconditional-ize ang sarili...mas maganda yun. kaya naman ata e...(o ayan ah..)

useless

i dont feel useless, though people make me feel that i am.

last night, papa called and asked me to do some chores. 1.) ibabad ang mga puting damit 2.) magluto ng ulam. so, i went outside and did the laundry part. then, i went to lola's house. i did not prepare dinner for the kids.

yes, pinagalitan ako.. one of the benefits you get from parents like these... bakit daw hindi ako nagluto? na ang useless ko daw...yada..yada.. yada...

bakit? (sinabi ko na to kay mama, pero kahit na daw...) kasi last week, pag-uwi ko ay nagluluto si mama. ang alam ko ay maaga talaga sya umuuwi kasi nga magluluto pa sya and everything. so, hindi ako nagluto. ang alam ko ay uuwi na sya, at magluluto. at pag ako nagluto ay papagalitan pa nya ako... (oo, totoo un).

isa pa. sabi ni papa, magluto daw ako. sabi ko, ano? kahit ano lang... syempre windang ako... i've not yet perfected taking care of myself--to think of meals for my sibs, way difficult... tsaka nga inisip ko talaga na uuwi na si mama.. un lang. di ko inakalang sobrang magagalit sila. asar talaga.

now he threatens not to pay for school in june. tutal naman daw it is put to no good use. we'll see... (as if they "pay" for me, i just lend and i pay them back from my scholarship)

that's life. just have to pinch my nose.

conditional friends

meron akong conditional friends. dati nga isa lang ysa, tapos narealize ko, conditional friends din ung iba..lahat sila.

ano ba ang conditional friend? actually, inimbento ko lang ang term na ito, so hindi ko alam kung anong meaning ang naiisip nyo, malamang iba-iba..pero para sa akin ang conditional friend ay kaibigang nanjan lang sa tabi mo sa tuwing masaya, may kailangan sya sa iyo, o nagbebenefit pa sya sa company mo. pag nakita nyang wala syang gain sa iyo, ayun, balewala ka na.

yung una kong conditional friend ay sobrang kinainisan ko, kasi nasasaktan ako. kasi naman akala ko ay naryan siya lagi para sa akin, at medyo feel ko ay totoo nga yun. nabigla lang siguro ako ng minsang naka-lean ako sa kanya, at umalis sya. ang ikalawa kong conditional friend--si doodz. actually mejo joke lang to. kasi sabi ko sa kanya, "sobrang mabait ka lang sa akin pag may itatanong ka sa chem, o physics." na totoo sa ilang pagkakataon. si lovely, isa rin syang conditional friend, kasi kakausapin lang nya ako pag good mood sya. si zsappy, ewan ko, basta, conditional friend din sya, nararamdaman ko. (*i would just like to point out that even i didnt provide a logical explanation to why zsappy is a conditional friend for me, she is.. i know it) at nung napagmunimunihan ko, lahat naman ng kaibigan ko ay conditional friends... lahat sila...

lahat kami.. lahat tayo...

in one way or another, lahat tayo ay conditional friends. bakit? dahil tayo ay tao lang. siguro ma-rerename mo ang conditional friendship as unperfect friendship. walang tao, no matter how he tries ang unconditional, perfect, and always-there-for-you friend. lahat ng tao ay may mood swings, may good days, bad days, sari-sariling problema at sari-saring mga hadlang sa pagiging perfect friend. si doodz, di naman ata totoong mabait lang sya sa akin pag magtatanong, siguro sa point of view ko lang, which is blurred. si lovely naman, sobrang mood-affected ito. as in may mood sya na wala syang kinakausap. si zsappy naman, siguro hindi lang kami nagkakasundo sa ilang bagay, pero mabait naman sila lahat. at mabuting kaibigan. at si unang conditional friend: salamat, mabait din syang friend.

as much as marami akong conditional friends, conditional friend din naman ako sa marami. di nila ako masisisi. tao lang din ako. at siguro, mas conditional friend pa ako sa inyo, minsan.. di ko yun masasabi.

ang dahilan siguro sa pagpansin ko dito ay dahil napaka-idealist ko. yung ibang tao kasi realist, so may certain standard sila ng friendship, mas mababa kaysa sa akin. so naaapreciate nila more ang friends nila. ako din naman, di naman ako sobrang idealist. realist din ako, at naapreciate ko din kayo. ang di pagtingin sa masamang part ng isa ng tao, sa pagiging conditional friend nya, at sa halip ay maging isang mabuting kaibigan ka sa kanya, yan ang friendship. hindi unconditional, hindi perfect. pero pure, totoo, mula sa puso.

salamat sa why-upa peeps: conditional friends kayo lahat!!! pero pure, totoo at mula sa puso...