alone

i have been so much alone this week. i dunno why, but people are leaving me. they dont hate me. they dont dislike me. they like me. they just leave me.

in case you have been guessing, it's not what it is. people in my life leave, i mean go some place far, but they do not leave me alone. unlike those people within my reach who continue to leave me. what a sad life...

i like going to the mall alone (i might have mentioned this), because i need to be alone sometimes, like now when i am thinking. but being alone when you actually need somebody is very hurtful. and that that person was supposed to be on your side, but then eventually decided to leave you. sadly.

i'd like to thank the people who were there to not keep me alone, although we are not always physically together. it feels so sad to stare at a space with a lot of people, and find yourself staring with nobody. staring is for alone people. perhaps.

tonight i felt so alone, and i just wanted to cry my eyes out, or a much comfrting idea is to puke my coffee-mango juice dinner. lucky i remained silent, because i am vulnerable. i can say cuss words if i meant to. but no. that is bad. and besides, being alone won't be so bad the 49,206th time. perhaps.

note to self: do not drink contrasting-flavor drinks in the period of one hour. also, if you feel like throwing up with the bus drivers crazy driving skills, do not push it by reading, or similar. ok.

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not so sad alone time. i was a seventh person. we went to see harry potter and the goblet of fire last wednesday at rockwell. see, nikki was with jay, ceres and janine, well, you'd figure that out and dada and mils, hmmm and a seventh person..me. i hurt my eyes watching the movie, which later transformed into a headache. it was great though.
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i'd like to say hi to my 15-person pubteam. go!

happy birthday to dan (nov 17).
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well, according to our socio lesson, you are not as alone as you think you are. there is a whole society feeling very alone. maybe, more alone than you think you are. perhaps. not that alone. perhaps.

foreign

everything felt as foreign as possible.

i got all the subjects i'd like to take this sem, except for 1 mst ge, which i surprisingly replaced with an es 12. okay, profs now. sir terence in che 131, sir nato in 132. sir happy in es 12. and some unknown (yet) in stat 101. sir abundo in eee 1 (zsappy said he's okay...). no show in socio 10 ( i hope, i left the classroom after 30 minutes, in which i slept for 20 minutes. haha). i havent paid tuition yet, but i will next week (of course, i have to).

the new sem is as weird as it could possibly be. i enjoyed the sem break very much and the "school routines" were very unusual for me, during the first week. first, i cannot recover much from my loss of sleep. i get very very sleepy during the day. second, the food. i get hungry easy. last sem i can endure half-day without eating, now, i get hungry every 4 hours. (did i mention i gained weight (perhaps, but i got porkier) during the sem break?) and, i am not as adjusted on eating canned food. i want fresh food. third, doing something other than converting oxygen to carbon dioxide, and nitrogen to fart is very shocking for me. i dont wanna sit in a class! it's so boring. but then, it's my destiny.

also, more, much more work for awitan publicity. rushing the teaser design, for which i'd like to thank mina. and the finished poster design, pat, thank you. and mils for helping me distribute letters to some orgs. gosh! im just starting. more work coming my way. other work as well.

so, i really wish i pull through the sem quite easily. please.

happy birthday to anna (nov 5), jedi (nov 6) and mina (nov 10). funny. they are of the same age now.

irritated

the last week has become greatly irritating for me.

first, i didn't have as much freedom (to slack off) as i had in the first three weeks of the break. there were a lot of babysitting and publicity material-making to do. but actually, more of babysitting. which, according to mama, i wasn't very good at (she really stressed on this). [although i see myself totally cool with kids. ive been with 5 already, in different stages of kakulitan, kasuwailan and kalokohan. and ive been a kid too. kuya and i had much kalokohan back then (and even now). i must be babysatting genius by now. but no.] also there is so much movement, well people kept going in and out of te house. going to bocaue. going to loyola (in paranaque). going to lolo's birthday bash (with the porky [baboy naman talaga] food), which is here at home, so imagine the people here. and i also missed desperate housewives :(

as i am always pleased with a solitary life (i mean like you're there and im here but we dont care about each other), it was a frustrating, irritating week for me. but then, i got to eat a lot. and surprisingly, looking forward to school again. maybe the break was enough for me. luckily there's another break in december. i like breaks.
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happy birthday to lolo (nov 1) who is now 89 years old, and quenie (nov 2).